


Too Late

by Ellity



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Lust, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Poor Sapnap, Porn With Plot, Unrequited Love, a little bit of arsonnap, dtao3, smut will come later, will add tags as i write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellity/pseuds/Ellity
Summary: Dream is Pragma, steady and forever. George is Eros, firey and passionate. Sapnap can't help that he's head over heels for both of them.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 189





	Too Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you aren't comfortable with this pairing written about sexually, please don't read, because there will be a fair amount of that in the future. 
> 
> On the flip side, if you're just here for shameless smut, chapter 2 and 3 will be loaded with it lol. 
> 
> With that being said, see you on the other side!

"We’re getting married.”

“W-what?”

“I finally proposed to George last night, and he said yes!”

Sapnap’s heart dropped at the words. 

“Oh.”

_Ten seconds of wallowing. Ten. Afterwards, you are going to pull yourself together, smile, and tell him how happy you are for him._

_1, 2, 3. How could he do this?  
__4, 5, 6. Does he really not know?  
_7, 8, 9 _. God, I’m such an idiot. I just want to-  
__10\. Showtime._

“Dude! That’s insane! How did you do it? Where! You need to tell me all the details now. How are you not more excited about this!” Sapnap shouted. 

Dream’s face relaxed after hearing his best friend’s words of encouragement. “Honestly, I’m just very nervous. I really don’t want to fuck this up. I mean, also, I don’t have the faintest idea how to put on a wedding. What music do I play? What do I wear? God this was such a stupid idea, I don’t know what I was thinking,” Dream ranted, burying his face in his hands at the final words. 

“George literally loves you like crazy. He wouldn’t have said yes if he didn’t think you guys could pull it off,” Sapnap reassured the blonde. 

“I know, I know. We’ve been dating for a couple years now, but he’s only been living with me for a few months and I’m worried that he might get bored of me, or he might find someone else, or something, I don’t know-” Dream rambled before he was cut off by his friend. 

“Dream. Calm. Breathe. Here, facetime me really quickly,” Sapnap breathed out. It would be harder to hide his resounding disappointment, but, if he could help calm down his friend, even for a second, he would put aside all of his feelings. He picked up his head from his phone to look at his reflection through the blackened monitor. _God I’m a mess,_ he thought to himself. 

He truly was. 

His brown hair was messy and matted, his eyes had dark circles around them, his lips were chapped and bitten _(a nervous habit he had developed years ago)_ , and his beard was unevenly shaved, scruffles of hair lining his jawline. 

After his gaze left the reflection of his chin on the screen, his eyes traced the image of his neck, starting at where it connected with his ear and following it down all the way until it met his collarbone. He didn’t like his neck. It was too thick, too bruised. His collarbone wasn’t defined enough. He didn’t have the pretty dips in his neck where his clavicle met his shoulder like Dream and George did. _They’re both so pretty. They deserve each other._

The noise indicating Dream was ready to facetime came blaring from his phone, making Sapnap jump a little in his seat. He pulled himself together, taking a deep breath, before he answered it. 

“Dream.” 

“Sapnap,” he said, mocking his friend’s tone. 

“You are my best friend, Dream. You’re attractive, you’re funny, you’re smart, you’re ambitious, you’re a hard worker. George knows all of this. George loves you like crazy.” 

He waited a moment in favor of reading the blonde’s expression before he proceeded, but he couldn’t gather what was going through his friend’s head. His face expressed panic, fear, worry, so many emotions that made Sapnap’s heart twist. He looked like he could cry. 

“Dream, please just don’t be upset, don’t cry.” _You’re too pretty to cry._ “You’ve got this. I know you do. I love you, man.” _Wait, no, too much shit no please-_

Dream’s face softened into an almost smile. “I love you too, Sapnap.”

Sapnap’s breath audibly hitched at the words, changing Dream’s expression instantly from calm to concerned. 

“Are you okay? What? I-”

Now panicking at the idea of getting found out, Sapnap cut him off. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t believe my baby is getting married,” he said dramatically, adding a fake sniffle and tracing a fake tear on his face. 

Dream seemed to believe it because he laughed, butting in Sapnap’s shenanigans with a “you’re such a loser.”

The two of them talked for a few more minutes about potential wedding arrangements, dates, etc before falling in a comfortable silence. Comfortable for Dream, rather. 

Sapnap, however, was on the verge of a panic attack. 

_I waited too long. It’s over. They’re in love, and I’m just nothing. I’m their best friend, and I’m never gonna be anything more. I was too late._

“Too late” rang endlessly in his head, effectively hollowing it and replacing all thoughts with just those words. After a few seconds, he could barely remember his own name. He was pretty sure he heard Dream say something, but he didn’t care. He felt like he was drowning, just waiting for the last few drops of fear to off him once and for all.

“Sapnap,” Dream said with a stern voice.

He snapped out of it. “Yeah?”

“You zoned out, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. What were you saying?”

“I was thinking,” Dream said cautiously. 

“Thinking?” Sapnap replied, confused at Dream’s shift in expression. 

“This is very sudden, I mean, you just found out I’m getting married today, and hell, I just found out last night, but, do you want to be my best man?”

Sapnap was shocked. Him? Best man? Any other normal person in any other normal scenario would probably be overjoyous. But Sapnap wasn’t. He just felt sad. Tired. Worn out. He had to accept, it would have been rude and would have probably crushed Dream if he didn’t. 

“Of course I want to! What? Dream that’s so nice of you to ask me. I honestly would never have expected you to,” Sapnap beamed. “Do you want me to come down earlier than the rest of your guests to help you set up? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know nothing about weddings, but you guys are my best friends and I’ll do anything to help you guys.” _Shit. Offering to go to Florida, even a couple days earlier, and having to be alone while watching Dream and George fall even deeper in love? That sounds like torture. Why did I even offer that?_

“Come down next week,” Dream stated, less as if he was asking a question and more as if he was simply expressing a fact. 

“What? But the wedding isn’t for at least a couple months.” Sapnap looked for any sort of uncertainty on his friend’s face, but there was none. And once Dream set his mind to something, it would happen. No matter what. There was no way he was getting out of this; he had already accepted the truth. 

“Why not!? I’ll check in with George, I’m sure he’d be fine with it. There’s a really nice hotel about a mile away from our house and I’ll even book you an expensive ass room to stay in for the time being,” Dream said, looking giddy with excitement at the idea of finally meeting his childhood online friend. 

_I need a reason not to go. Other than, “Hey Dream! I can’t go to Florida because I’m in love with you and George and I don’t want you to get married!” Youtube. That’s my excuse._

“But I can’t record videos from a hotel room!” Sapnap announced, relief a little too prevalent in his voice. 

“We have a spare soundproofed room in the basement,” Dream said, now looking suspicious of the other boy. 

_Crap._

“I have school.”

“You’re online, and you barely go to class as it is.” 

“My cat won’t be fed if I’m not home!”

“Sapnap, you live with your sister, mother, and father. Not one of them can feed her?” 

As Sapnap began to panic, Dream’s face softened into a sort of sadness only rivalled by his previous breakdown just a few minutes ago. 

“If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. I’m not forcing you. I’d love for you to be here, but, I understand if you’re not interested, or you don’t want-”

“I’ll be there in a couple days,” Sapnap finally gave in. Dream’s face lit up at the words.

“You will? Oh, that’s great! You won’t regret it. Ahhh this is gonna be sooo much fun. I have so much to show you! You’re gonna love Florida. We’re gonna go to universal and the beach the day you get here, and afterwards we’re gonna eat so much garbage food and watch so many awful movies.”

“That’s the day we planned back when we made the promise! Yknow, we were 13 and 14 when we wrote that, it was mostly a joke,” Sapnap said, now feeling guilty that he didn’t want to go to Florida. _I’m selfish._

“It wasn’t to me.” 

“Oh.” 

The next few days were a blur for Sapnap. He wanted so badly to not hurt, not to cry. But it didn’t matter. 

He initially allowed himself one day of sadness. One day to cry out his feelings, get over his crushes, and move on. He was on the phone with his friend Bad for practically the entire day, sobbing over how alone he felt. Bad listened to his complaints thoroughly and carefully, consoling him when he could. Sapnap could tell how awful Bad felt for him, and that only seemed to make him feel worse, so he elected to refrain from talking to him about it again after that one day in hopes of leaving Bad out of it. But one day turned into two, then into three, and now he was here, on the final day before his plane ride, packing all of his clothes, computer and recording parts, and gifts for Dream and George. 

As he zipped up his last suitcase full of equipment, he sighed and sat on his bed to take a moment of relaxation. He’s packed everything except the gifts. 

He opened his closet, digging to the back of the mess created by the frantic packing until his hand landed upon a wooden box. He pulled it out and sat back on his bed. 

Ever since the day 13 year old Sapnap and 14 year old Dream promised to each other that they would be best friends forever, he had been collecting things that reminded him of Dream. He was eventually going to give Dream the entire box, but then he remembered what else was in that box. 

He opened it, pulled out the tchotchkes cluttering the top, and pulled out 4 pieces of neatly folded paper. He smiled. _I remember now. When I was 13, I was going to give him the box and the letters to tell him how I felt about him._

As pessimistic as Sapnap’s been feeling recently, he’s a romantic at heart. He wants to loved, to be loved. 

He had written 4 letters for Dream, one for each major event that happened in their friendship. Each letter was labeled on the front with a messily written date and sealed with a sticker so Sapnap could know if anyone had ever gotten into his letters. He had a nosy family who liked going through his stuff when he was a kid, so it felt like the safest thing to do. He shoved the tchotchkes back into the box, but left the letters spread out on his bed. 

He inspected them carefully, picking them up and taking note of the date on each letter. After he was satisfied, he rolled up out of bed, kneeled down, and pulled out the envelope hidden between his mattress and bed frame. 

If Dream had a box, then George had an envelope. 

Sapnap could already imagine what George would say if he knew about this (and didn’t run away calling Sapnap a creep). He’d whine about not being appreciated enough, or complain that Sapnap loves Dream more than him. But the love he has for Dream is different than the love he has for George. 

Dream was his _Pragma_ . His deep-rooted, unchanging, everlasting love. No matter what fight they had or what mistake they made, they’d always find their way back to each other. On the other hand, George was his _Eros_. His body, his voice, his smile; everything about George made him feel sweaty and weak in the knees. There were countless late nights where he’d lie awake imagining George. Sapnap be touching him, kissing him, praising him, making him beg for more. Sometimes, Dream would weasel his way into Sapnap’s fantasies, but he’d block out the thoughts as soon as they showed themselves. It was too weird. 

The envelope itself was unsealed, but the letter inside was folded and sealed with a sticker in a similar fashion to Dream’s. 

Sapnap didn’t remember exactly what was in each of the letters to Dream, since he had sealed some of them over 5 years ago, but he knew the general idea. 4 pages of expressions of grief or happiness, depending on what each letter was for, in messy, small handwriting. 

In contrast, he knew exactly, almost word for word, what was in George’s letter. It was filled with lust and want, practically begging George to be with him, if only for one night. He wrote the letter a year and a half ago after he and George had spent a night making sexual jokes to each other, much at the dismay of Bad and a very jealous Dream. 

_Stop being so loud, George!_

_It’s not my fault you make me scream._

_Language!!!_

_Is that what you want, George? For me to make you scream? For me to put you in your place?_

_Yes, please._

Sapnap’s stomach began to burn in the way he was all too familiar with. George was beautiful. Too pretty. He wanted to start slow, to ruin George, to pick him apart until he wasn’t pretty anymore. Until he had bruises, marks, and tears littered all over his face and body. Until all he could do is cry out Sapnap’s name and beg for more. 

He took a shaky breath in as he felt himself harden slightly at his thoughts. _Not now,_ he told himself. 

He stood up, found his footing on the floor, and walked towards the window, pulling the cream colored curtain aside. Sapnap didn’t realize how late it had gotten. He was leaving his house at 2 am, and it was nearly 1. A few stars littered the sky, but the rest were heavily drowned out by the light pollution. 

_I’ll burn the letters,_ he decided. _That’s the best thing I can do._

He walked back to his bed, picked up each letter one by one, and shoved them into the envelope. He then stuffed the envelope into his hoodie pocket, and opened his door. 

_It’s time I finally let go._

He walked down the hall of his house carefully, tiptoeing in an attempt to not wake up his parents, until he finally arrived in the kitchen. He sifted through the drawers in search of a lighter, or a match, or something, until he finally stumbled upon a matchbox. 

He opened the glass door out onto the porch and sat on the bench looking out into the busy Houston skyline. He pulled out the envelope from his pocket and stuck it between his thighs in a way that he could access the letters inside easily with one hand. 

It wasn’t calmer outside than inside by any means; there was the sound of horns blaring, people shouting, the bass from some loud club booming, and crickets chirping. But silence wasn’t what he needed. He needed to breathe. To be free of those stupid letters and those stupid feelings that had been weighing him down for years and years. 

A single tear rolled down his face as he pulled out one of the matches and scraped it against the side of the box, admiring the spark that the friction concocted. The match burst into a steady, warm flame, and Sapnap couldn’t help but watch the fire dance. It was beautiful. Millions of shades of red, orange, blue, purple, all dancing in between his fingertips. 

Sapnap took a deep breath in, smelling the fumes of the burnt wood, before finally pulling out a letter. 

“January 12, 2012.”

_Oh. Right. The day we got in a fight over a stupid kit._

Dream had almost threatened to completely cut ties with Sapnap after that day. They were so young, and almost missed out on a lifetime of companionship if Dream had insisted on blocking him. Sapnap chuckled at the memory. Dream used to be such an emotional, firey guy. At least, when they finally made up they made the promise. 

_Crap._ The flame was beginning to burn down to Sapnap’s fingers, so he threw the match onto the grass beneath him. 

He set down the letter on his lap, pulled out a second match, lit it, and held it in front of him for a second. 

_This is it. You can do it._

Sapnap adjusted the match in his left hand, and picked up the letter in his right from where it was still lying in his lap. Slowly, he brought the letter to the flame and held it there until it caught fire. Immediately, he jumped, throwing the match to the floor and smothering the fire with his own hands. 

_Guess not._

He inspected the damage of the letter to find that he had burned a relatively small hole in the corner. He breathed a sigh of relief, cringing at his how dramatic he was being, before neatly sliding the letter back in the envelope and putting it back in his pocket. 

_I can still keep the letters and move on. I just, will never show them. That’s it. That’s all I have to do._

When Sapnap was back in his room and calmed down, he hid the envelope at the bottom of his carry-on bag, embarrassed at the idea of someone seeing them on the x ray when he went through baggage check, but wanting to keep the letters close to him at all times. 

_Fuck you, Dream. Fuck you, and your little attitude. Fuck you for letting me love you. Fuck you for loving George. And fuck you, George. For not letting me be the one you wake up with instead of Dream._

He wasn’t just jealous of their relationship, he was jealous of each one of them for being with the other. He was selfish, that’s what it was. The two of them were perfect. Skinny, pretty, funny, happy. _And then there’s just me. Ugly. Annoying. Unwanted._

 _“Too late,”_ the voice in his head taunted him back. 

He opened his phone to see the time was nearing 2:00. _It’s time._ As he walked to the car waiting outside his house, rolling his luggage as silently as possible, he realized something. He was utterly, truly, alone. Dream and George had each other, they were each other’s best friends. And he was always going to be the second choice. 

After he finally boarded the plane to hell he closed his eyes and let his head rest on the cushion behind him. 

_I have two months to get over Dream and George, or I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life._  
  


Meanwhile at Dream’s house, Dream and George were cuddled up on the couch together. They had fallen asleep watching a movie, and had been way too lazy to relocate to their bed. 

George had been drifting in and out of sleep for the past hour, restless about Sapnap’s arrival in a few hours. Once again, George floated back up out of sleep, squirming around to get comfortable again. His movements woke up Dream, who rubbed his eyes sleepily as he sat up. 

“Sorry for waking you up, Dreamie. I just couldn’t really sleep. Too excited,” he whispered, smiling like an idiot. 

“You’re right baby, I’m excited too,” Dream agreed. 

“And we’re 100% sure that what Bad told us is true?” George said, his voice dropping even quieter. 

“I don’t think he’s the type to lie to us. He never has in the past,” Dream said, trying to reassure his boyfriend. When he saw the worried look remain on George’s face, he placed a kiss on his lips. “Look. All we’re going to do is talk to him about it, okay? If we’re wrong, it’ll hurt, but at least we’ll all be able to move on.” 

George nodded. “Okay. We still need a better plan, though.”

“Don’t worry, Georgie. I’ve got this one under control. He won’t know what hit him.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I anticipate to update this story once every 3 days :) 
> 
> Criticism is very much appreciated, it's been nearly half a year since I've written anything fiction.


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